Staying Connected as Our Kids Grow
The early years of parenting are filled with cuddles, bedtimes stories, fixing scraped knees with a kiss and little people following us around everywhere we go. Then seemingly overnight, our children start to grow into their own people - full of opinions, interests and a sense of independence that can sometimes take us by surprise.
Navigating the older stages can feel just as challenging as the newborn and toddler stage. If you’re finding it difficult, you
So, how do we stay connected?
Between the ages of 7 and 10 (which is currently where we are with Finn), our children are in that wonderful but quite delicate stage. They are growing more confident and social, yet they can still deeply rely on us and need our love, guidance and presence. This stage can be both exciting and bittersweet, and also very hard to navigate as it can be hard to know how best to support them. However, staying connected during this time will help cement trust and communication for the teen years and beyond. It might not feel easy at times.
But how do we stay connected to our children as they grow older? Here are some meaningful ways that I have found effective as I navigate this stage of parenthood for the first time.
🗣️ Make time to talk
Don’t pressurise them to open up and push for big talks, instead look for small windows in the day to connect, This could be in the car, at bedtimes or while you are sharing a meal or snack together. You could try asking questions that go beyond ‘How was your day?’ And instead ask something like ‘ what made you laugh today? Did you find anything tricky today?’ These conversations can help build trust and help your child know that you want to hear what’s going on in their world. They won’t always want to engage, and that’s okay. What it does tell them, is that you are there for them if they need it.
❤️ Hold onto family traditions.
As life gets busier — with homework, after-school activities, and playdates filling the calendar — those little family routines we used to love can start to slip away. But it’s those small traditions, like pizza Fridays, Saturday movie nights, or Sunday morning pancakes, that keep us grounded and connected. These simple rituals create a sense of security and belonging, reminding our children that no matter how much they grow, there will always be a place for them at home.
Sometimes that might mean saying no to other plans or slowing down for a weekend, especially when everyone seems to need a bit of family time to reconnect. It doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be together.
😊 Spend time with them individually
If you have more than one child, this stage can feel especially tricky — you’re constantly being pulled in different directions, and each child’s needs can be so different. We’ve found it really valuable to carve out little pockets of one-on-one time with Finn.
Sometimes that looks like watching a movie together after the girls have gone to bed, a quick midweek bike ride, or sometimes an overnight campervan trip. It could also be something simple, like reading a book by his favourite author, letting him choose a day trip destination, or grabbing a hot chocolate at a nearby café.
The key thing to remember is that it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive — it’s those small, intentional moments that mean the most.
Spending time one on one, whether that’s outside or indoors can give our older ones the chance to open up about things that might be on their mind.
🌍 Be Curious about their World
At this age, kids love to share the things they’re passionate about — whether it’s the latest update from their favourite football team, their favourite tv show or the new world they’ve built on Minecraft. When we take the time to listen with curiosity (and genuine interest — even when our minds are juggling a million other things), we’re sending a powerful message: what matters to you matters to me.
You don’t have to be a Minecraft expert, a Pokémon fan, or know the name of every YouTuber they follow. Just showing up, asking questions, and engaging in their world helps them feel seen, heard, and valued — and that connection is what really counts and can make a difference.
🍃 Get Outdoors Together
There’s something about being outside that helps conversations flow more naturally — especially with older kids. Whether you’re walking the dog, hiking a trail, kicking a ball around, or just sitting together at the park, the fresh air and change of scenery can make it easier for them to open up. Without the pressure of sitting face-to-face, children often feel more comfortable sharing what’s on their minds. Plus, being outdoors gives you both a chance to slow down, disconnect from screens, and simply enjoy each other’s company. Some of the best chats can happen while you’re just walking side by side.
Getting outdoors can help children to open up as somehow it feels that little bit easier than sitting face t face trying to have a conversation.
Final Thoughts
It’s hard — honestly, sometimes even harder than those toddler tantrums — because now it feels like we’re helping shape the people our kids will become. And on top of that, we’re trying to raise them in a world full of outside influences that can be tricky (and a little overwhelming) to navigate.
Our kids are growing, exploring, and figuring out who they are. Through all the ups and downs, they still want our love, our attention, and our approval more than anything.
So keep showing up. Keep reminding them that you’re there. You’re doing such an amazing job — even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it. Raising tiny humans isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most meaningful things you’ll ever do. ❤️
The Thriving Mum Hub aims to support you to thrive through motherhood, one small step at time.
It provides you with effective tools to make everyday life easier and more enjoyable. Through quick at-home workouts, weekly play prompts for your little ones, and flexible meal plans, I help you look after your health, connect with your child, and take the stress out of family mealtimes.
